How To Make Your Smart Phone A Responsible, streamlined Device and why you should do it now
How (and why) to turn your iPhone into a simplified, addiction-free device today.
Over the past year we’ve radically changed how we use our phones, adjusting them from the existing cluttered, dopamine slot machines that fuel addiction to sleek, pared-back functional tools that encourage responsible usage.
Between having a baby and Chris accidentally breaking his phone and deciding not to repair it for three months (slash consider getting a Light Phone) we learned some things that may be helpful to you as you consider reevaluating your own phone relationship. No screen shattering or birthing required.
EASY, BASIC TECH BOUNDARIES FOR ADULTS
Do a digital clean-out. Photos, apps you don’t use, lists that are irrelevant now. The worst part of digital clutter is it’s infinitely unorganized because no matter how much there is, it occupies the same amount of physical space (a phone). But on the plus side, cleaning it out gives you that same feeling of knowing a cabinet is clean or dirty even though it looks the same on the outside.
Remove all push notifications that can pull you into an app outside the times you’re looking to participate.
Change your screen color to remove blue light during certain times of the day.
Opt for do not disturb mode or one of the new focus modes with modifications (you can allow your kid’s school, your Significant Other, etc to be the only ones who can contact you while this setting is on).
Consider a usage cost-benefit analysis as discussed in “Digital Minimalism”. In short, it’s the decision to test whether using social media or technology supports a specific value or useful function. For example, if you say you like to use Instagram to keep in touch with friends, ask yourself how often you use the app to have high-quality conversations.
Prioritize high-quality leisure or activity vs passive consumption of content. I embroider. I read. I garden, go on walks, work out, cook, raise a human…I try not to scroll and consume bland thoughtless content anymore because it doesn’t meet my desired values of that time block. This might mean you need to find a non-digital hobby period!
Don’t fall into the falsehood that communication on social media or even text is the same quality like a phone call or getting together in person (it’s proven not to be). Social media can be an important tool for keeping up with friends/acquaintances, but consider going into the app with the intention of spending 15 minutes directly commenting/messaging with friends maximum vs just liking or adding inane comments like ‘cute!’.
For details on the ‘how to’ of some of these actions, and more phone setting changes, dive into Humane Tech’s recommendation list and even think about viewing these modules to learn more about how these changes can help.
AESTHETIC STREAMLINING CHANGES FOR YOUR PHONE
If you feel like you have a decent handle on your phone usage already, this is level 102. It’s not necessary, but I’ve found that since making these changes, I actually reach for my phone less period. It streamlines my ability to find what I need, very quickly.
Hide all the apps you don’t use day to day in folders. Know you can search them at any time. This makes it easy to not get distracted when you’re going to your phone for a specific reason. The newer iOS updates allow you to remove them from the home screen. If you swipe right to left it will automatically generate categories for your apps. You no longer have to keep a folder on your home screen.
Switch your phone to greyscale with the ability to change to color with three taps giving a ‘paperwhite’ reader kind of vibe. This was interesting for me. After asking Chris to make this change to my phone after seeing his, it ‘slapped me on the wrist’ so to speak every time I found myself reaching to look at Pinterest or IG. Those apps are way less interesting in black and white.
Change your icons to the same style (vs multi-colored and company branded) and create ‘shortcuts’ to reroute. Below are examples of my home screen and Chris’s home screen. He custom-made our buttons (sorry), but you can download packs online. Because we use our phones differently, they’re organized according to usage. You can see my phone has no to-do list (I use a paper one), but Chris uses an app called MinimaList. My page has social media (Instagram is the star button) but Chris has zero. That’s because Chris (self-admitted) will mindlessly scroll on Instagram. He feels much better without it available. His IG account is linked to mine, so he can pop on my phone and switch over should the need arise. He also doesn’t have a browser readily available but can access it via a subfolder.
Specific Apps kept:
Chris: MinimaList, Clock, Calendar, Nursery Camera, Email, Text, Call, Photos, Camera
Carlene: Notes, Calendar, Clock, Email, Instacart, Instagram, Voxer, Nursery Camera, Dropbox, Photo Editing, Photos, Camera Browser, Call, Text. You’ll notice I have a second page- this just has two photos on it. I’m not trying to sneaky-hide more apps.Use the stackable widgets function. With the latest iOS update, you can stack on the far left screen. For example, my Spotify and Calm app are stacked (two audio-based things).
To see full how-to’s for these changes, read this article on Medium and watch this tutorial.
Why We “dumbed down” our iPhones
We’re coming at these “intentionality” suggestions from two points of view. Chris has mainly used his phone for consuming content/basic messaging while a phone has more often been part of my work life. In the past decade, I’ve ridden the wave of obsessive phone checking which sparked my first decision nearly six years ago to remove notifications from my phone. After that, I moved to keep my phone on silent 90% of the time. And now we’re here, stripping an iPhone to basics.
I’ve seen social media and tech as a beneficial tool for connecting with communities, for finding inspiration, and of course for booking clients for our business. Sometimes it’s good. But increasingly, it’s…not. I’ve had a deep love-hate relationship with social media for bringing me opportunities but also showing me its many flaws, instigating behavior addictions, and playing with chinks in any armor of mental health available. I’ve blogged for over ten years, been on Instagram since the beginning. I’ve ‘played the game’ obsessing over algorithms and tactics, seen it work then not after a single tweak from the platform.
After having a baby (thereby having available time massively reduced), I have zero temptation to spend free time in my Inbox or social apps anymore. It doesn’t relax me. It doesn’t inspire me (The content I see is the same mediocre Bo Burnham-esque ‘White Woman’s Instagram’, mixed with false ‘authenticity’ posts and a sprinkle of preformative ‘wokeness’ from people who don’t participate in a modicum of allyism, education, or change beyond a “thoughts and prayers” Instagram Story). It’s just not a happy place for me anymore and clearly, it sparks some issues for me. * Descends from soapbox *
Note: If you don’t want to do a deep dive into the ‘why’ tech/social media can be problematic, consider stopping here. This content is not new, but may be new to you and frankly, a little upsetting if you’re not aware. With that said, it might be helpful for giving insight into why it may be tough to get off your phone sometimes!
Social Media Is Designed TO keep you addicted
Social media/email is designed to play to your brain’s base desires: for novelty (unpredictable reward delivery… a new message or ‘like’) and low-quality dopamine hits. Dopamine is a ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter, so naturally, your body craves this occurrence.
In the most simple terms: Meta (mainly), and other developers have entire teams whose job it is to design an addictive platform. They want you on that app as long as possible because it’s good for business. The more time you’re there, the more they can sell your attention to advertisers.
So how do they do it? Notifications are delivered unpredictably as a design function to keep you in-app ‘just in case’ a new one shows up. Because of this randomized reward generation that plays to our ‘gatherer’ instincts, the dopamine release in your brain is increased more so than a predictable reward distribution. Mix with a human desire for social approval and it’s the perfect cocktail for behavioral addiction.
If you watch the documentary “The Social Dilemma” on Netflix, you’ll see the path of why notifications for likes and comments exist and even how the app will play with you to see what keeps you coming back the most. You may have even personally experienced how the app will send you emails letting you know ‘you’re missing messages from friends!”. Which in actuality, is the app trying to pull you back in using your fear of not being part of the group.
It all sounds a little paranoid. Except that we now know factually Meta and other companies have figured out the nuances of how to exploit your brain’s cravings. We’ve found from former employees how platforms exploit your biggest fears, concerns, hate, and self-doubt to get you to see specific content that will keep you engaged (more on this next).
This is why it’s important to remember: Social media does not exist to help you. It exists for it’s own purposes and goals.
There’s a quote by an American sculptor from 1973 in reference to television that’s as relevant as ever: “If something is free, you are the product.” -Richard Serra. Side note: if you’re in the DC area, you’ve seen his work at Glenstone and there’s a new installation happening in 2022.
Social Media’s Attention Currency Causes Extremes
Social media is said to have a “currency of outrage and anger”, requiring increasingly outrageous views and content to capture the currency of attention. It has shifted our ability to see true opinion and behavior norms. The lack of face-to-face interaction has removed social cues in responses so that when someone says something unacceptable (be it racist, nonfactual, etc) they do not see the facial changes or hear the responses or questions of those who disagree with them as a barometer. Most often, this creates insulated communities of like-seeking-like prompting confirmation bias. On Twitter alone, only 10% of the users are responsible for 80% of the tweets. So when you see an article using experts cited on Twitter, it’s just a highly vocal minority with a megaphone.
a few reasons why being on your phone all the time is bad for you:
It can affect your ability to pay attention. It can cause stress (people often report waking up in the middle of the night to check emails), harm relationships and in general reduce the quality of your life if you allow it.
Social media/email/etc function as casino-style slot machines of low-quality dopamine. This means it’s easy to be addicted, and the ‘benefit’ isn’t even that great.
Scrolling has become low quality leisure activity. It’s not relaxing. Nothing really gets done so the time is poorly used. Which is why infinite scroll was designed- to keep you there.
Social media in particular has in part caused increasing self-harm and suicide among young people.
It can promote eating disorders and body dysmorphia as well as self esteem issues.
Massive spikes of anxiety have been seen by college/high school therapists
All this to say, it would be untrue to say technology, phones, etc are bad period. There are so many possible benefits. But as it stands, the typical user often doesn’t have the awareness or desire to make changes to avoid the pitfalls.
Technology guidance for kids:
I write this section with no judgment. Technology is not bad or good (although tech companies can make it innately ‘bad’). Our tech philosophy with Reid will be to teach him why social media/gaming/etc can be something that makes you feel awful or makes you want something (I read accounts of kids spending thousands of dollars via in-game purchases for different ‘skins’ and am dreading this discussion in a few years). Without a doubt, we will have structure and boundaries and somehow figure out how to balance not wanting your kid to be the ‘only one’ without a phone or iPad.
A year in, we’ve found that keeping screen time to only Facetiming on occasion has made our kid well behaved in public (he’s fascinated by changes in surroundings and people- he’s not bored with real-life because screens provide targeted audiovisual sensations that are far more intense than reality). One time we decided to see what a couple minutes of Story Bots (adorable) would do and he was locked in, not moving. I can see why it would be so easy to let your kid watch a lot of shows or play digital games. It’s the easiest babysitter ever. So with that said, we know the choice to follow American Academy of Pediatric guidelines with screens (none except for video chats before 18 months) is hard now but will pay off in the long run and we think we’ve already seen that benefit with his behavior.
So why is it AAP has this guidance? Research has shown infants and toddlers have ‘video deficit’. That means they have a hard time learning from 2-D video below 30 months old and during this time, it’s the peak window for learning A TON about human language and cues. Will some screen time hurt? Honestly, probably not. But in typical American fashion, we often find that the need to dumb down to the most black or white guidance is best (like hemp vs cannabis and the decision to make both illegal).
Perhaps more stringent than even AAP guidelines are those that Silicon Valley tech execs set for their own children. And isn’t that telling? Many execs have opted to keep their kids phone free into their teen years and even go so far as to hire nannies under the compliance condition they not use phones around the kids.
I would not relish retracting this ‘tech freedom leash’ if I had a tween/teen…So for anyone who finds themself wanting to provide resources to their kids, Humane Tech has self lessons for them that can help explain the ‘why’ of social media and how companies abuse it, but also a path for using it for good reasons.
The bottom line
At the very least, it’s worth assessing your current usage. It’s worth questioning how and why you spend time the way you do. We’re certainly in an uphill battle at the start- to change automatic settings buried deep in apps that promote addictive behavior usage. To figure out how to work around a system designed to make our neurotransmitters excited. But there are ways, there are tactics, and hopefully there’s something here that can help you start that change.
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