21 Tips to Reset in 2021
21 tips to help you reset in 2021
At this point, I don’t even think it’s necessary to recap all that was 2020. It’s easy to paint it as all bad, but more than anything I hope you can look back and realize what 2020 did was clarify some things for you. Whether it was the fact that you needed to slow down, that you like spending time at home, that you really didn’t “need” to accept all those invitations to go out all the time or try to “keep up” with people.
The more I thought about it when writing this post, these are all tips I would have shared had 2020 NOT been what it was. It’s a culmination of things I’ve found helpful over the past few years for making our home, and my mind, a more calm, well-functioning, happy place.
I know for some of you, the start of the new year is helpful as a marker for bolstering your nerve to make changes. Hence, a list broken into three categories: your head, your home, and your health. As with all lists of this nature, this is not prescriptive of ‘change everything at once’. Pick and choose. Start with a few tasks. Some are far easier than others and I’m by no means insinuating creating boundaries to toxic people in your life is as simple as a bullet point. Trust me–it’s a process that can take years.
Wherever you are in your reset process, I’ll leave you with this: be nice to yourself, have a ‘move forward’ perspective, and let’s be honest a cocktail or glass of wine helps some of this too.
your head
You are not responsible for the way people choose to respond to a situation and worrying about it won’t help the outcome. For a long time, I would labor over how to respond to people who put me in tricky situations (people who broke contract/promises/asked for too much) because I was mostly worried about how they would see me when I responded in what I now see was a logical, correct manner. The bottom line is, it’s not my job to help them feel good about my response, especially if they put me in a bad spot. In that same vein, remember that the word '“no” is a complete sentence. You are not required to placate someone or over-explain why you’ve answered their question in a way they don’t want. If someone says “Will you watch my kids/do this favor for me/etc” and you literally cannot (either for time reasons or the fact that this person is a taker 95% of your relationship), you can say no! When they ask, they’re asking–not telling you to do something. That said, be prepared that if they truly are a ‘taker’, the will realize they’ve bled you dry and move onto their next ‘resource’ victim.
Turn off notifications: It’s really not that urgent. If it is, someone will call you. And on that note–to eliminate the stress of interruptive spam calls–go to your phone settings and select ‘send all calls not in contacts to voicemail”. If you’re hesitant to turn off notifications on your social apps and emails, know that I haven’t had notifications pushed to me for YEARS and it’s part of what I do…and I’m fine. To learn more about why this is really important for your mental health (and to realize you’re literally being USED by companies whose job it is to make addictive apps) I recommend: either watching the documentary The Social Dilemma on Netflix or do some reading on Dopamine Labs. Yikes.
Create boundaries to toxic people: Easier said than done to be sure. But crucial. Stand up for yourself. If there’s a major point of stress in your life that surrounds a person, you need to evaluate it. You’re an adult. You are allowing this relationship in your life and if you find yourself continuing to talk and talk and talk about it with others, it’s time to address it. Don’t be a victim because you’ve never told the person on the other end to stop their behaviors (so why do you assume they just will?). See bullet point 1 for more and also keep the phrase “Why do you ask?” in your back pocket. It’s especially useful for nosey people or people who make weirdly offensive comments or ask overly personal questions. Volley that comment right back.
Get a non-work related hobby: Because our work and our hobbies are pretty closely intertwined in this house (food, design…) I’ve made an effort to add some other activities to my routine to help my brain get creative and relax. I love embroidery, gardening and archery (you know, like a proper lady from the 1800’s who lives in the English countryside…). If you’re a perfectionist, GET OVER IT. I held off on getting back into archery after a decade break because I was worried I would be terrible. It doesn’t matter as long as you enjoy it (BTW, I was not. Another emphatic push to get over dumb shi* your brain says.).
Log out of apps you can’t use positively. Typing your password (or finding it) causes effort and intentional usage. Don’t want to do that? Use the app Forest to force limited distraction/wandering. Sometimes it can actually be as simple as moving the app off the first page on your phone to create pause.
Batch plan errands and outings/stop creating an artificial todo list: I think because Chris and I grew up in the country as adults we ALWAYS run multiple errands on the same trip. When it takes 30 minutes just to get to the store, you better have your act together or you’re spending a full hour of drive time to resolve the issue (makes sense…). As adults both of us have always been baffled by our neighbors who will leave, come back 20 minutes later, leave again immediately and repeat three more times that day and give off the most insane frenetic, flustered energy I can feel from inside our house. If I psychoanalyze a little, I think some people believe as long as they’re ‘busy’ they’re doing something productive…but it’s just a poor use of time. Instead, we keep a running list of groceries or errands that need to be done or things that need to be picked up at a specific store and when the opportunity or need presents itself, we just have an automatic list. This creates organization (you’ll forget less things) and gives you more time to do what matters in a calm way.
Evaluate your subscription services: When things are digital, it’s easy to forget what you’ve signed up for in life. Are you using all of your streaming subscriptions or can one be ended now that a season of your show is done? Do you not need your toothbrush/razor/vitamins restocked as often as you thought? Adjust your subscription delivery rate. You can make this a batch project. Just write down subscriptions as they come in (or you get an email about them) over the course of a few weeks and make the changes all at once. To make it even more simple for next time, have a list of subscriptions you’re enrolled in in the Notes app of your phone so you can check back at least yearly to see if you’re still using everything.
your Home
if you can do it in 5 minutes or less, do it now. Examples: move shoes in the way. Put the pen back in the desk. Put the plate in the dishwasher. I think you’d be amazed how much you an accomplish with five extra minutes. One of my habits is if I’m reheating something, or making coffee, look around and see what can be done while I wait. Another habit? You don’t need a landing spot for mail if you just deal with it. Shred anything with your information (No shredder? Cut it up.), recycle junk mail, and open any other mail immediately and put it where it needs to go (eg your desk/to someone else in the house). And then go wash your hands.
Surfaces are not storage: Clean off your surfaces (coffee table, dining room table, counters)- Wipe it down, reduce what’s on it, restyle, repeat as needed.
Purge your stuff: You probably don’t need a bigger house: you need less stuff and more USABLE space. So is all the stuff in your current space, actually being used and making you happy? For the biggest impact, start with the biggest items: furniture. Do you have an entire cabinet that purely exists because it’s holding stuff? What’s even in there? Could you get rid of most of the stuff it’s holding and add something better instead of that cabinet? Once you’ve sorted the big stuff, the next easy ‘stuff’ areas are clothes and electronics. ThredUp is an online service that either responsibly recycles or sells (and gives you money or credit) for items from your closet. You can use the credit to buy items that are seriously premium and new with tags at like 80% off to fill a void in your wardrobe. You can use this link to order your free clean out bag from ThredUp (or elect to print a shipping label and whack it on any box) and get $10 to spend too. You can also use Decluttr for videogames and electronics, especially if someone in your home just updated gaming systems. Have art/furniture/ or other home goods? I know TONS of people who shop Facebook marketplace for pieces for their own storefronts! Any extra/old towels, blankets or sheets you can donate to your local animal shelter.
Consider a grocery delivery of some kind: For a few reasons- but it’s helpful to take advantage of this if you have downtime at ‘off’ hours (eg if you wake up at 5 AM, or stay up late) while saving time (no driving, etc). It also allows you can have a calm state of mind to check everything or build your cart on a rolling basis as you run out of things. We use Instacart for work recipe development and photoshoots. Here’s a coupon for $10 to Instacart. There’s also Misfit Market which rescues organic ‘ugly’ produce (and now dry goods) at a discount saving it from food waste.You can get 25% off your first box: COOKWME-PS3UFR. Another option is a CSA or farm delivery, which we opted into for the Virginia growing season of May-November. The bottom line here is save time, use a service to put your money where your beliefs and values are with services like CSAs/Misfit/etc.
Do a trash audit: To produce less waste, you have to figure out where it’s coming from first. See what mainly ends up in your trash bag and figure out ways to reduce the source. It can be as easy as removing single use items from your kitchen and swapping plastic bags for silicon stasher bags, or changing from plastic wrap to a beeswax wrap, or mostly using rags instead of paper towels. It’s been a few years since we’ve made these changes, so the most recent ‘ah-ha’ trash reduction I’ve had was stopping our use of cotton pads for toner or make up remover and switching to reusable bamboo rounds you just toss in the washer. We also figured out that using our Townew trashcan for cat litter instead of reusing any plastic bags that came into the house reduced our overall multi-gallon size trashbag usage (basically we have one full size trashcan in our house and once that gets full-ish, I have the Townew seal off it’s bag in the mudroom for cat litter and put that in there vs putting individual bags in the full size trash bag which fills it up more quickly). I know that my area for improvement is actually pretty easy: composting. Because we cook from home 95% of the time and cook for work, we have a lot of compostable output for what we do produce. While I’d love a full composting system, downtown raccoons and foxes paired with loving the way my yard and garden look now (I don’t want to add anything that takes up a lot of space), I’m not sure this is the space to do it…I’ve looked into buried food waste digester systems which might be a good solution or subscribing to a local compost drop off business. The only reason I haven’t is because I’m trying not to over-complicate my errands/to-do’s pre-baby until I get a handle on what life is like with “that”.
Do a recycling audit: If you want to go a step further, see what’s taking up a lot of space in your recycling. We have DRASTICALLY cut our recycling output by switching from buying canned seltzer to using a Sodastream one touch (we love it, we are obsessed) which uses CO2 cartridges that you can mail in to recycle and get refilled. There’s also a brand called Aarke that that is gorgeous (and more expensive) but I haven’t tried it yet. I’d say our current biggest recycle output is shipping boxes (for work and due to COVID vs visiting places in person). I always opt for things to be shipped in as few boxes as possible during an online checkout as well.
Consider putting dirty laundry directly into the washing machine: If you feel like there’s constant laundry, consider just adding things directly to the washer and starting it when it’s full. There’s the caveat you should really sort your laundry, but if you’re the only one in the house, or there are no laundry ‘types’, have at it! It may completely eliminate your need for a hamper.
your health
Wear house shoes (maybe with supportive insoles) and don’t you dare wear outdoor shoes indoors: This seems like an only American issue. No one else seems to have a problem with taking outdoor shoes off inside. There are tons of germs and dirt (hello why not save yourself cleaning time?) on those shoes, but also, walking on completely flat unnatural surfaces (not grass or ground) barefoot is bad for your feet and spine. So what do you do? Buy a pair of house shoes, add insoles if needed. We have house shoes from Lands End that we’ve used for two years and they’re great. We might be upgrading to some nicer leather ones so stay tuned on Stories for what we find.
After your first coffee, have a large ginger water or herbal tea. Just make a hydration-pause into a habit. Ginger is nice and flavorful and thanks to gingerol (a bioactive compound in the plant) it also has anti-inflammatory properties. Most importantly it just makes me drink more water.
Pay attention to your micro/myco biome: Take a probiotic to boost your immunity and improve digestion. Go beyond (especially now) with a topical product like Mother Dirt. Watch your dependance and over-usage of Lysol especially with the pandemic and instead rely on hot soap and water when possible within reason. And of course, take a look at your diet (STOP drinking diet sodas, eat more fiber rich foods and fermented foods).
Spend time outside, no matter what: Whether you call it shinrin yoku like the Japanese or friluftsliv like Nordic countries, spending time outside is good for your mental health and your immune system. Put on the appropriate outerwear and go outside!
Choose better seafood for you and the environment : This had always stumped me…I felt overwhelmed by the terms and news surrounding seafood for so long. Was wild better? But not from certain water areas? But not all species?! I finally figured out the best answer is just buying seafood from Alaska. This deep dive post explains why.
Have vegetables or a smoothie on either side of a meal out. This helps balance out the typically high sodium and fat levels in a restaurant so you feel a bit better.
Exfoliate.: Regular exfoliation increases circulation and removes skin and dirt that clog pores. It also makes it a better canvas for any product you’re applying to actually sink in and work! . You can use a chemical and physical exfoliant. I like The Ordinary Lactic Acid (um it’s $6!) for a chemical exfoliant and BOIE scrubber (recyclable) for a physical.
Dietitian Nutritionist and cookbook author sharing flavor-forward recipes and simplified science-driven wellness.
