The Efficient Minimalist Pregnancy: 3rd Trimester
The third trimester update of ‘best-of’ or ‘only’ list of items and resources I recommend for this stage of pregnancy.
Hello from 37 weeks! Make sure to catch up on our first and second trimester no- BS guide and our guide to what we put on our minimalist baby registry before diving in to the third trimester guide.
Note: This now contains a postpartum follow-up thought section that covers weeks 37-41+ (I KNOW-I ended up having to be induced). This is important because up until writing this, I had a super positive attitude, but the final weeks were no walk in the park- so I’m sharing what I wish I could have told myself. See the bottom of the post.
10 pre-baby tasks:
In true type 1 Enneagram form, I made a giant checklist of things to do pre-baby to make our lives easier. My worst self comes out when I feel rushed, stressed, or overwhelmed, so a giant list of tasks I could complete now to reduce all of those possibilities within my control seemed like a pretty good management tool. Because of COVID–but also just because this is the kind of people we are–we will not be seeing anyone for at least a week or two once we get home (Follow up note: no one came to see the baby in person for a month and that was just for an hour or two. My MIL flew in to quarantine/test/see him at week 8. You can do it!). We knew going in it was just the two of us figuring out what’s best for US without family support coming to help. And we’re fine with that. We’ve always been self reliant. Maybe because of this, we’ve always been really good at figuring out good systems ahead of time and then tweaking them along the way.
Here are some of the things from my list you might find helpful:
Stock your postpartum kit ahead of time: Just in case baby comes early. There are copious lists out there ranging from what I consider over the top, to feasibly minimal. It’s up to you to figure out what you think will be best for you and I’d recommend by pulling maybe 3-5 to compare. Since we’re not at this phase yet, I’m not sure what I’ll end up using and can provide literally zero insight for you. Be prepared to be mildly horrified but at least prepared once you start reading around.
Pre-register at your hospital: This depends on what your insurance provider says, but mine recommends pre-registering at your hospital early so you’re not in active labor filling out paperwork and accidentally stab someone with a pen (sounds like a bit of a hassle to be honest, the commotion, the restraints, the house arrest…). I also signed up for a virtual tour of the L/D area which includes a Q&A session (because, COVID). Lastly, I printed a document that has the point of contact for L/D and copied my license and insurance card front and back so we can just hand it to the staff and be on our way day of.
Pack your hospital bag: There are so many articles out there on this but in general, I think people are overpacking (and it’s what I typically hear recently pregnant people say after the fact…). I erred on the side of less (I’m not bringing a pillow, especially right now because I’d never feel comfortable again having it in my house and would have to give it a viking funeral) and raided my product sample/travel size skin care/etc goods. I am throwing away basically every pair of socks/toothbrush/etc we bring to the hospital with us out of an abundance of caution due to COVID. I also hear you get to bring a baby home, and that’s like, way better than the tiny soaps you get at a hotel stay. In this bag I also sub divided with gallon size ziplock bags for toiletries as well as snacks–the most important thing. It also makes it super easy to find things quickly.
Post partum update: I promised my nurses I would share this with you- STOP OVERPACKING. They were so pleased we showed up with only a weekender bag and asked us to tell you to do the same! I’m so happy I mostly packed food. We absolutely did not need more than we brought in the weekender. Don’t even think for a second you’ll need a magazine/book/entertainment once you deliver. You’ll just sleep but mostly you’ll be bothered by the constant rotation of medical professionals coming in. You also don’t need more than one outfit. I’d say pack a bathrobe for while you’re there (because honestly you’ll just have your boobs out constantly anyway and be poked and prodded for other reasons for checkups..why get dressed?) and an outfit to go home and that’s it.
Write out your birthing requests/plan on notes for your partner/hospital staff: I did not make a birthplan. I want to remain flexible and I think if I went into this being staunchly sure I wanted things “a certain way” it would make me less open to changes that needed to be made last minute. To me it also staves off feeling “disappointed” if things didn’t go to plan. Instead, I made a simple bullet point list of ideals in Notes that I or Chris can show the team. This includes opting out of a routine episiotomy, delaying cord clamping, requesting minimal checks and interruptions, etc. If it makes you feel good to have a full plan, by all means. We have one goal: do whatever is the healthiest and safest option in any given circumstances.
Stock your freezer and pantry: We actually ended up having this as a work project to write an article on this topic so it worked out. Since we care a lot about food, yes, we did pre-make several options for the freezer. Beyond that, make easy meal ideas that your partner can do with little effort (they’re tired too). I’d also recommend figuring out what your transition phase will be : eg using Sunbasket, Daily Harvest (use the code CARLENE25 for $25 off your fist box), etc and adjusting seasoning/sides from there.
Preload your Kindle or reading stash: …Or whatever your preferred relaxation method is. Maybe it’s making a watch list on Netflix. Maybe it’s buying lots of magazines. Just have a lot of something ready for down time.
Make sure all of your vehicles are up to date: Think tags, emissions, inspections. Since we have a track record of getting pulled over both times we were en route to my siblings weddings, I just feel like the Universe always has us stopped on the way to important things. I’m not chancing it.
Create a shared family photo album on the cloud: We are not creating a separate social account for our child, nor do we have facebook, nor will we go out of our way to text images to different groups of people. This is one of the best tips we’ve heard: create a shared album on your phone and upload as you see fit. This means no group texts, no additional interruptions and notifications.
Watch a video on child CPR and choking: (you’ll feel better)
Download a feeding/sleep/etc tracking app: Not only will this help you figure out and analyze systems to decrease the occurrence of mistakes like waiting too long to feed etc, but you can just download the data print it out and bring it to your doctor for appointments because I sure as hell won’t remember how many times the kid is being fed one week into being a mom. This is the app we are trying (multiple people can access the account via different phones).
A word on postpartum care in general:
I’d say postpartum care in the US is lacking but it’s such an understatement I’m not sure I can find the appropriate words to convey how abysmal it truly is. I knew going in, and through reading, that essentially women are treated as vessels for babies and kind of cast aside once birth is done (but expected to snap back ASAP without any kind of support). If you do even some light Googling, you’ll see US standards of care for mom after birth do not even meet global guidelines in place for supporting developing nations. Follow up appointments are all about baby. You personally get an appointment about 6 weeks later (which by the way, may even trace its roots to religious reasons but even those assumed you had several helpers in your village…) and until then you’re on your own and by the way your organs might collapse into your pelvic floor. Chris was appalled when he started reading up on this and ranted about this for several days (isn’t he great?). So we figured out things we can do (since our healthcare system won’t), to engineer our own recovery system.
I’ll cover this more in depth in a post-partum post.
Nasal Congestion and Pregnancy:
The one additional pregnancy side effect that popped up in the last couple weeks was intense night time nasal congestion (there’s actually a term for it…pregnancy rhinitis) and it’s completely normal and no one tells you about it. It started disrupting my sleep to the point where I would wake up at 2 AM every day and stay awake until mid morning until I napped. Until I bought the Breathe Right strips. And I’ll be damned if it didn’t fix everything. So if you’re feeling the slightest bit congested, I highly recommend buying nasal strips.
Did you buy more maternity clothes?
Nope. In my first and second trimester update, I mentioned how I only bought ONE maternity item. That still holds completely true. I have not bought any other clothes period except a two pack of nursing bras I wear under pajamas because although I didn’t think it possible, yes I got even more top heavy and support is important. What I will encourage about that specific item is to read the reviews about sizing. Even though I have a very petite frame, I took heed and bought a size Medium (something I never wear), and it was accurate. This particular brand I linked to also has great more supportive day-time bras that I also recommend.
As the weeks have gone on, there are obviously fewer things I can wear from my closet but it’s called doing laundry. That’s kind of where we are with baby clothes too. I’d rather under-buy at first, do more laundry, and reevaluate needs later.
Did your workout routine change?
By week 32/33 I had to start more heavily modifying my 3x/week Peloton rides. Jogging out of the saddle consecutively was just not happening. By week 34 I stopped my spin classes all together but have continued arm workouts and daily walks. The daily walks are something I really look forward to and know we will continue post-baby (see “No Bad Weather” book below for why…).
Have you read any childcare/parenting books?
Yes. The way everyone chooses to parent is very different. If you don’t believe me, read the reviews of these books and see parents screaming at each other for either loving the book or thinking the book is child abuse.
Chris and I have gone into pregnancy knowing our only goal is to raise a kind, good human. We personally believe the American system of raising children isn’t a good fit for us (forcing achievement and overly scheduling activities so your child doesn’t “Fall Behind” by age four- paired with thinking your child is The Most Special Snowflake). When we’ve traveled, we’ve always admired how children can sit quietly in very nice restaurants, be biked around in the rain, and not complain. And this wasn’t in a touristy area or us being blinded by the temporary veil of the romance of a new city. By comparison we hear multiple crying meltdowns daily from our neighborhood kids over obviously deeply upsetting things like “Not Wanting To Pick Up Leaves for 5 Minutes” and “Getting Wet Walking To The Car”.
The following 4/5 books are European parenting books. At their core, they encourage imagination, unstructured free time, boredom, resilience, caring and compassion for the environment and others. These, paired with an acronym CPR (Compassion, Passion, Responsibility) are our basic parenting guidance. We don’t care if our kid is mediocre at sports, has trouble with math but tries hard, and has looks suited for radio. As long as we’ve created a good person with a good sense of humor, we’re happy.
The Danish Way of Parenting (Denmark)
There’s No Such Thing as Bad Weather (Sweden/Scandinavia)
Bringing Up Bébé (France)
Achtung Baby (Germany) - thank you to the reader who recommended this one!
Moms on Call (USA): This is probably the most controversial one (of course it is…it’s the US-everything is controversial) because it has a sleep training routine that starts what some would call “early”. This is important to us, and this is discussed in Bringing Up Bébé if you really want to read more (in France, if your child isn’t sleeping through the night by a specific time, it’s literally classified as Childhood Insomnia). You don’t get a shiny medal for parental suffering. You are not a better Mom if you sleep less than another Mom. The first half of the book is actually super useful too and covers what to do with different symptoms of illness.
One More maternity health unitasker i bought
In my first and second trimester update I talked about how seeing a chiropractor was the best investment I made. That paired with wearing house shoes that had supportive insoles. As the bump has continued to grow, my chiropractor and I realized I was getting a lot of new muscle strain in my mid upper back (because boobs + bump is a lot). Chris found this supportive wrap and it solved the problem. I wear it when I go on walks, when I’m doing anything physical, and when I’m in the kitchen for work.
Some end of third trimester thoughts
I’ve had a great pregnancy experience so far and while part of it is probably luck, what we’ve shared so far in our updates has helped substantially. When I see people write or share on social media about what they feel is difficult about pregnancy, often times it seems to be perpetuated by what other people have said/done to them or encouraged (guilt from articles/Mommy blogs, sometimes well intentioned sometimes not unsolicited advice from others).
Maybe the most important thing I think Chris and I have learned is that we are correct in our self assuredness to feel comfortable not doing what everyone else is doing, but doing what’s actually good for our family. At the end of the day, it’s YOU, not your family- not your social media followers- who are pregnant and giving birth. So stop allowing them so much mental and emotional space. It really is your choice. You just have to strong enough to put your foot down, create boundaries, and be open to dealing with someone else’s’ emotion derived reaction.
An update from post-partum Carlene
Hi from 2 months post-partum. I felt like it was important for me to circle back to this post for an update. When I wrote this at 37 weeks pregnancy truly had been easygoing. My health care team thought for sure I would be delivering baby at week 38…but that kid was very comfortable and I ended up having to be induced at 41+ weeks. I wish I could have told myself then that there is NO SUCH THING AS PREGNANCY MATH LOGIC. No matter how many centimeters you’re dilated, or what station baby is, there is no guarantee you’re going to deliver at a certain week mark even if health professionals say you will. Your body is weird and unpredictable and that baby will come when he’s good and ready. Every week that went by, my team was SHOCKED I was still pregnant.
I think the final four weeks (ugh) were hardest because I did have this expectation that we were in the final stretch, only to have that marker keep getting moved. So I spent my time kind of in limbo- not trying to get too deep into a project or do anything because I could presumably be in labor at any moment (true, but it didn’t happen). While physically, it was of course harder and harder to move, it was more of mental exhaustion that got to me towards the end. I wish I could have told myself to just continue on doing whatever you want- don’t be waiting around-you actually won’t be pregnant forever despite what you may think.
I was also unsure of how I felt about being induced- mostly because it felt odd to schedule a time when you knew you were walking into a place to be in pain for hours. It feels funny to worry about this in retrospect because it was actually the most Carlene-delivery ever. Scheduled-efficient (10 hours start to finish)-we watched Gordon Ramsay cursing at people while I was in labor.
The final stretch is a mental marathon. Go in prepared but give yourself a lot of grace to not do anything for a day if you’re having an “over it” kind of day. You will not be pregnant forever. Enjoy the freedom of being able to nap and do whatever you want whenever you want for this last bit of time.
See you with a +1 in tow to our 2.
Dietitian Nutritionist and cookbook author sharing flavor-forward recipes and simplified science-driven wellness.
